When you hear the NC Democratic Party talk about equality, one usually thinks along the lines of equality for Women, African-Americans, Hispanics, the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered (LGBT) community and others. But, you do not usually hear anything from NC Democrats in regards to equality in the NC Family Courts which have been extremely unbalanced for going on a century now. And, every time we attempt to talk with a Senator or Representative who has established themselves as a Democratic, we typically get the silent treatment. We suspect this happens because the narrative in regards to family law has always been defined as a male vs. female issue (or mother vs. father) for which we believe Democrats want to advocate for Women’s Rights to their children. In fact, just about every Women’s Rights or Feminist group operational today identifies with Democrats to maintain a system by which Mothers get custody of their children and Fathers suffer the usual fate of non-custodial parent who gets visitation periodically. This disturbs us and in this article we are clearly going to show where the NC Democratic Party is making a huge mistake because in the defense of a divisive family court system, they are actually hurting many more women than men, and they are hurting a lot of African-Americans and Hispanic Fathers and Women in their families. If you are affiliated with the Democratic Party in NC and are a Father who was marginalized in the family courts, or a woman in the paternal family who identifies with the information contained in this article, then we encourage you to join our MAILING LIST and FACEBOOK PAGE to help us encourage Democrats to work with Republicans to bring about comprehensive equality in family court reform.

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In the video below, you can view a significant portion of a speech given by President Bill Clinton at the Democratic National Convention in which he addresses equality for African-Americans, Hispanics, Women, and members of the LGBT community, all who for the most part identify Democrat. Continuing with this article, we are going to explore why many in these groups will come into conflict as it relates to family law and the courts which have for a long time been maintained by the Democratic Party and lobby efforts by supporters of this party. I also want to make it VERY clear that this organization does not have a problem with equality for African-Americans, Hispanics, Women, and members of the Gay and Lesbian community. In fact, we advocate strongly for that. But we do have a problem with the fact that, as it relates to family law, NC Democrats seem quite content with throwing Men and Fathers (along with Women in their families) under the bus when it comes to talking about equal parentage and access to their children. For us, equality is about equality for everyone, not just groups that vote Democrat.

We also want to make it very clear that we are not accusing Democrats for everything wrong with the family law courts because Republicans have just as much culpability. This article simply exists for NC Democrats and their families to use when talking with their Representatives and Senators, especially if they have been pushed to the outer margins of their children’s life after a divorce or relationship breakdown. In our discussions with Democratic lawmakers, we have talked to a few who actually support equally shared parenting like Senator Daniel Clodfelter and we are sure there are others. In the same vein, we have talked to Democrats in the NC General Assembly who we feel, if they had a choice, Fathers would never see their children.

NC Democrats, Equality, and The Family Courts

While there are people and groups that disagree, most everyone in NC agrees that the family courts very much favors Mothers when it comes to child custody, and sees Fathers as the ones who work to provide for their children. And, it is this reason why many believe Fathers should not have custody (or equal custody) of their children. Of course, while this may have been appropriate many decades ago, there are just as many Mothers who are working full-time jobs in 2013 as Fathers. And while many will say that Mothers should not lose custody of their children because of career advancement, these same groups sure do advocate that for Fathers. This has been the narrative played out when we talk to NC Democratic Representatives and Senators.

Our organization does not believe that Women should be losing custody or their children, we believe that they and the courts should be developing a plan by which both parents can put aside their differences and work together as equal parents along with their extended families to provide healthy amounts of support, love, nurturing guidance, and growth that no State or Federal Government will ever be able to achieve.

NC Democrats and Women

As stated earlier, when we talk to Democrats in NC, we hear many talk about Women’s and Mother’s Rights and we agree. Women and Mothers are very much needed in their kids lives. But what is missing, is the talk about the importance of Fathers and WOMEN in paternal families like step-mothers, grandmothers, female siblings, and aunts who bring tremendous amounts of support and love to children that they are related to by paternity. Why are these Women consistently thrown under the bus by the NC Democratic Party in the name of equality? Why do these Women only have the opportunity to do this four days a month?

In the game of sexual and gender politics, many people forget that Women birth many Male children who we suspect that they love and want the best possible life for. In the movement for equality for Women, are we sure that we are not putting a barrier in front of Women’s sons when they become Fathers and experience divorce which will likely lead to their marginalization? And where will these now marginalized paternal grandmothers be when they talk about his right to be an equal parent?

Another group of Women the NC Democratic Party is overlooking in their refusal to discuss family court reform, is non-custodial mothers. Of course, we suspect that many in this party will advocate for a system where no mother is ever a non-custodial parent for ANY reason, but the reality is that many are. If inequality is wrong for Fathers under this system, it is also wrong for Mothers who lose custody of their children. Again, we are talking about equality here, not Fathers gaining the upper hand in custody battles.

The NC Democratic Party And Fathers

In the convoluted world of politics, many believe that Men usually vote Republican and that Women vote Democrat, but this is just not the case. There are MANY NC Democratic voting Fathers and Mothers, and Women in their extended families, who are experiencing devastation in the family courts almost hourly in North Carolina. With this in mind, we have to wonder why these Women and Men are NOT talking frankly with Democratic lawmakers about equality when Democrats make it one of their biggest talking points?

And what about African-American and Hispanic Fathers and Women in their families? What happens when these families experience inequality in the family courts and fail to recognize that NC Democratic lawmakers have their heads in the sand on this issue?

NC Democratic Party and the LGBT Community

Gay Marriage is not only a NC debate, it has clearly become one that Americans are going to be asked to either oppose or defend in the very near future. And, NC Democrats have solidly said that as a party, they support and advocate for the same rights for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered persons in marriage that heterosexual citizens enjoy.

And our group is completely neutral on this subject.

However, equality in the family courts is something that, once gay marriage is defined and becomes reality, members of the LGBT community will quickly face. What is going to happen when two women are LEGALLY married, and they either adopt a child, or one of them birth a child from a donor and they decide to divorce? Who gets custody in this case? Will Democrats continue to advocate that the birth mother retain custody, and the Woman who did not birth the child be marginalized like non-custodial families experience in the family courts? Or, will Democrats come out in favor of equally shared parenting because this is a Women’s Rights issue? If the later is the case, how will Men in the Democratic Party react?

What about when legally married Gay Men adopt a child, or find a surrogate to birth the child? In this case, things get even more complex. Will Democrats side with the Woman who birthed the child over the Men who have long supported the party? How will Democratic lawmakers decide which Man gets custody of the child given the historical stance that Men should not have custody of their children? If Democrats come out in favor of Men gaining custody of the children, what happens if the birth mother decides she wants to keep the child? What happens if these Men divorce? How will heterosexual Democrats in NC deal with the party advocating for shared parenting in Gay Marriage but no heterosexual marriages?

Again, this is not an argument against Gay Marriage, we are just pointing out emerging complications where inequality in the family courts that proponents have long advocated for is going to come back and hurt them.

NC Democratic Voters Who Support Equally Shared Parenting Need To Talk With Their Lawmakers and Party Officials

As we have just shown, inequality in the family courts, a position that NC Democrats favor, is affecting hundreds of thousands of Men and Women, and it is about to affect hundreds of thousands more when Gay Marriage is realized in our State. If the party of equality is serious about their stance, then it is time they come out and support equality across the board especially with regards to the family courts and child custody.

We believe family law reform for equally shared parenting is an issue that affects every person on this planet in some form or fashion. It affects people from EVERY single racial and cultural background, socioeconomic status, educational level, gender and identification of gender, and political party affiliation. However, for some reason, the issue of equality in the Family Courts of NC has been an easy one for NC Democrats because they just decided in favor of whichever group supports them or their ideology and this article should lay to rest that unfortunate decision. If you are a Democratic voter, and you love your children but have been pushed to the margins of their life because of the family court process that chooses one parent over the other (or you are a member of the family that got hit by proxy), then it is time you have serious talks with the party you support.

If you identify with this article, then we hope you will extensively share it with friends and family on the popular social networking sites like Twitter, Facebook, Google+, and Linkedin because we do value and enjoy hearing support or dissent on the issues we discussed in this article. Additionally, please consider using the comment system below to leave your most thoughtful comments on this issue. As always, we would love to hear from party officials in the NC Democratic Party.

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Republican Senator Warren Daniel represents voters in Burke and Cleveland County NC which is made up of a large amount of non-custodial parents, step-parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and other family members and friends. Senator Daniel is an attorney and sits as Co-Chairman on the powerful Judiciary II committee which would undertake the issue of family court reform, social services reform, and equally shared parenting. NC Fathers is an organization of NC non-custodial family members who have had enough of this historical profiteering of the family courts and who are tired of being marginalized to visitor families 4 days a month and under federal enforcement as a payment provider to their young loved ones. NC Fathers is sending the message to Senator Warren Daniel and other Republican lawmakers that our intent is to reach every single Burke and Cleveland County NC non-custodial family member and ask them to review our goals and join our mailing list in an effort to build a citizen lobby group that demands that the Senator addresses our needs. If you identify with this article and want to support our organization, be it as a non-custodial family or proponent of shared parenting, we ask that you join our Facebook page and collaborate with us. NC Fathers reminds Senator Warren Daniel and Senate Republicans that given the divorce rate and system by which one family HAS to be marginalized in a child’s life after divorce or relationship breakdown via the family courts, there are a lot of voters from every political party affiliation, culture and race, socioeconomic status, and educational level who have a stake in this reform.

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Family values? Rights of the people to be free of oppressive government control? I wonder if Burke and Cleveland County non-custodial families agree with this campaign message from Warren Daniel?

As an attorney, Senator Warren Daniel knows very well how destructive the family courts are to Burke and Cleveland County NC children and the relationship they have with their non-custodial family. While the Senator may disagree with this assertion, it is likely that non-custodial families will not and that is what is important here. If you are in a Burke and Cleveland County NC family and need a reminder of what Judges and Legislators ask you to live with for 21 years, then we encourage you to click on the red and blue graphic below and we would love to see your comments using the form below this article.

It is also important to remember that the Senator, as an attorney, is a member of the ultra powerful NC Bar Association that is steadfastly opposed to equally shared parenting and who believes that the position you are in is just fine with them.

Republican Senator Warren Daniel, The Burke and Cleveland County NC Family Courts And You

First and foremost, as an attorney, NC Fathers encourages Senator Daniel to explain to county families how it is that Legislators and Judges advocate for a system that pits two parents against each other in a court of law, encourages them to excoriate each other in an attempt to win custody and control, takes $20,000 from each parent in the process (twice over 18 years), and lives with themselves knowing that this money could go towards starting a business, medical expenses, college tuition, or for a down payment on a home?

Often, opponents of shared parenting will say that this arrangement will cause greater conflict between parents, but the above question contains enough conflict potential than anything we can imagine. Senator Daniel, would you rather see $80,000 dollars go to children or lawyers?

Other issues Senator Warren Daniel and Senate Republicans must address regarding the NC Family Courts:

• Senator Daniel, the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence claims that only men and fathers are responsible for sexual and physical abuse of wives, former wives, and children and this is a good reason to deny fathers equal parentage and access to his children. Yet, they are fine with fathers having visitation with their children. Can you explain how 4 nights a week is a magical number that prevents fathers from killing their ex-wives and children? And if the patriarchal rants of gender and sexual politics coming from this organization is correct, are you and other male legislators also wife beaters and child molesters? Or, is it possible this organization excludes you and your sons because they need your votes?
• NC Fathers encourages Senator Warren Daniel to explain to Burke and Cleveland County NC non-custodial families why their sons go to jail and are excoriated on the public Internet for being deadbeat fathers when they have tough economic times, yet custodial parents are able to escape this via social services educational assistance, job assistance, daycare assistance, food assistance, daycare assistance, medical assistance, housing assistance and tax credits? Senator, would it not make more sense to either create a system by which both parents are empowered for the good of their children, or help offset the need for all these assistance programs by allowing the non-custodial parent and extended family to provide these services naturally?

• Republican Senator Warren Daniel will be told that we cannot have shared parenting because there are powerful womens rights groups that have enormous power in the NC General Assembly. Senator, have you considered grandmothers, aunts, and step-mothers in non-custodial families? What about non-custodial mothers? Have you considered that every mother in Burke and Cleveland County NC who has a male child will one day be marginalized as a paternal grandmother when these same organizations need for her son to be stereotyped as an abuser? This seems like a lot of women to us Senator.
• Senator Daniel, how is it that our State Legislators and Judges continue to talk about the “absent parent” problem that we supposedly have in this state, yet each day in the Burke and Cleveland County family courts Judges allow custodial parents to move children many states away from non-custodial families who are active to the extent Judges will allow them?
• Does Senator Warren Daniel realize that there are tens of thousands of parents who come home daily to find their spouse has decided to leave a marriage and under NC law, that parent does not have to allow the other parent to EVER see his children again unless he can come up with $20,000 to exercise his rights? What happens to those parents who don’t have that money Senator? And you are fine with this? Have you talked with Senate Republicans about this? We see where you sponsored bill S41 which honored boy scouts, but you won’t sponsor a bill that protects a parent from this family court pay wall?
• Senator Warren Daniel and Republican lawmakers need to realize that we are tired of being triggers for increased federal and state money through collection of child support. Burke and Cleveland County NC non-custodial families should realize that for every dollar collected in child support, the federal government gives make an equal match of Title IV-D money that can then be used to replenish welfare expenditures. To us, it seems like the State of NC and lawmakers have developed a system why which one family is purposefully pushed to the outer margins of the kids lives in order to increase federal support payments which triggers greater funding for the State. For every non-custodial parent who pays $800 a month in child support via enforcement, the federal government gives back Burke and Cleveland County $800 to pay for food stamps, WIC, and other social services programs. We are not opposed to these services, we just don’t think pushing parents to the outer margins of their kids lives is appropriate to obtain funding for these programs.

Republican Senator Warren Daniel versus Cleveland and Burke County NC Non-Custodial Families